Dream Cast

Well, how do you have a dream cast unless you have a dream film?

Will Ferrell - The 3 of clubs. The guy who hitchhikes and see the world

Udo Kier - King of Diamonds. The voice over

Chiaki Kuriyama - The 8 of hearts. The random Japanese girl who takes Will into the woods after he can't find Torrance Alabama, and tells him to look out for the badger's funeral.

Mathieu Amalric - The 4 of spades. The gas station guy who doesn't know which way is Torrance Alabama. Chiaki's boyfriend. Eventually dresses up as a badger and re-enacts funeral proceedings of Udo Kier.

Lauren Bacall - The Queen of Hearts. There are exactly forty of her in the film, and they always run around in packs. First, they are joggers with Queen of Hearts shirts. Then they are the very slow restaurant staff in pink and white uniforms.

Mickey Rourke - The Ace of Spades. Everytime there is an important decision, Will plays his ace of spades... at which point Mickey comes out and sucks everybody into his body with a cosmic wind, after which he expels them and everything keeps going on from the point where he was called. He would be all black, (black face, no hair)

Chelsea Clinton - The 9 of clubs. herself, lost in the forest.

Nancy van Keerbergen - The Jack of Spades. My alter ego... the writer, drinking tea, and, by the end of the film, we realize she has written the whole story completely bottomless (no panties), while some really hot guy is mowing the lawn outside.

Danny deVito - Joker. the hot lawn guy. We morph him virtually to make him tall and skinny, and give him hair on his head, but not on his chest.

well, that's just the rough outline anyways, and it would be loosely based on Groundhog Day.