The Dream Factory

When somebody asks me what I miss about North America, the first thing that comes to mind is television. Now, I can already see all them noses turning up. You can flick your schnozz where the sun don't shine because honey, when you see genius like Pimp My Ride, you seen tv at its MTV finest. There would be nothing wrong with the USA if everybody watched this show. (except more people would be sticking tape on their car)

I love Pimp My Ride. I love it, I love it, I love it. If there was a french spin-off version, I'd go out and buy the shittiest car I could find and submit myself as a contendor. Why? Well, let's just ask Big Ron now.

Big Ron was the season 2 starter for this genius show from MTV. The concept is simple. You have a shitty car. It's an embarassment. There's holes in the ground, it's painted four different colours, you still have an 8-track, no upholstery, tape is holding your car together, your car is made up of two different cars welded together... etc etc. You leave a little message for Xhibit and his gang asking them to pimp your ride.

Then... if you're lucky, Xhibit knocks on your door and says he's there to pimp your ride. They take it to West Coast Customs where the shit gets a makeover, a roll in the purple velvet, a little jacuzzi action in the back, maybe some 20-band EQ stuck inside, who knows? You come back, and your freak.

Here's Big Ron in action:


This is my ride, a Cadillac El Dorado.

As you can see, Big Ron's ride is a bit shabby. He uses it to take his granny around. He needs to up his style because, hey, it's a Caddy!

Then, those boys at the West Coast get all A-Team on the machine. They rip out the interior and put in a few DVD players, orange and white custom interior, gold plated rims and grill, it gets pimped out.



Oh My Freakin' Lord... look, they gave him a custom signature insignia for his driving wheel. The same shit is on his headrests! Sweet!

Then they unveil the beast.


WCC shows off their work

Then...


Big Ron freaks out with Big Dane

I love this show! It's a formula that works. Xhibit is so damn funny and those guys from the WCC are actually a bunch of characters. Ish, Q, Big Dane, and my favourite, Aren. Aren's a genius with paint. He didn't do more than season 1, but you gotta love this guy. He puts shredder marks that make shreds look cool.

Ok, so, now I'm stuck in France, eating baguettes, pate, drinking wine, looking chic, the whole bit. But you know what, I'll never lose my love for the genius that is American Television. Not that bible thumpin' shit... but the real funny crap that spins out every now and then from the boys who smoke dope and fix cars. And if anybody starts talking about how much they like Punk'd, I'm gonna scream. Ashton Kutcher gives Punk a bad name. Hate that idiot.