Happy Birthday Holy Smokes!!!

One year annniversary special… I promised I would answer your questions, and even though I'm feeling icky, I did it. I keep my promises. So, here we go...
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Hey not to be nosey... but I'm so curious... husband is French right? How did you guys end up here? I wanted to live in France and it just worked out that the love of my life was French and from Paris. Perfect. :) Heh.

I moved to France because I was running away from Toronto. I was proposed a place in a prestigious artschool in France, and I took it. I met the husband there, and the rest just fell into place quite naturally. It’s not that I was ever particularly enamoured of France, but now that I’m here, it’s fine. He makes me laugh, with his frenchy moustache. My husband is a very special boy, and it’s just extra that he’s french.


You want us to ask you questions. So, here is mine and let it be known : which cyclist will you support on 2005 " Tour de France " ?

This is a very difficult question. In the past I supported Jan Ullrich, because he was such a fat lazy dumb oaf who made me laugh. I loved the Tour 2003, when he shit in his pants. But this year, nah, not possible. Ironically enough, I might end up going for Ivan Basso, despite his pretty-boy face. I like Bjarne Riis and I think he’s just the man to orchestrate a strategically interesting tour.

I get the distinct feeling that this year will be a transitional year. Lance will falter but still win. What will be interesting to see is how the string of new racers animate the tour, like Cancellara and Cunego. I highly doubt either of them are in a position to win, but I’d like to see how much Cancellara has worked on his climbing.


What do you think Parisans think of you?

A very silly but chic girl who’s off the rails. Fascinating but slightly scary. There's a small number that hate me for my capriciousness, and another group that like me for my chutzpah.


Do you recommend Paris for strangers?

For living or for visiting? This is a great city, with tons to do and see. There’s so much fun to be had in Paris. I would recommend finding somebody, a Parisian, to take you around. Paris, as a tourist, is all monuments and dead culture. To really get into it, you have to ask the natives.

As for living, I love living in Paris, despite the fact it’s ridiculously expensive. But I’m not your typical expat. I don’t visit cultural monuments half the time, nor go on mad searches to find my hometown food. I think too many expats make hardly enough effort with the language. There’s nothing that depresses me more than hanging out with a group of expats and hearing them whine about french people being stupid and not speaking english. You’re living in France for fuck’s sake. Learn the language. Make friends.


Is your life all you hoped it would be?

Not yet, but it’s getting there. Most of all, I’ve never really appreciated this but it’s true that I’m volatile, unpredictable, and my worst liability. But, I know that I like who I am and how I think. Coco Suaudeau, the old coach for Nantes, once said that he trains his players to play without control. Always in motion and looking for the next available space.


Is Paris romantic?

Yes. Unbelievably so. Especially at night.


How many siblings do you have?

1 sister who is exactly what I’m not.


How many times have you been in love?

Hard to say. I have a hard time knowing the difference between love, and love of attention.


What is your favourite movie?

Fischli and Weiss’s The Right Way (der Recht Weg)


Who is your favourite celebrity?

Don’t have one… maybe the closest is Keanu Reeves, but that’s old now. I’m currently watching the Rafael Nadal-Richard Gasquet game at Roland-Garros. I think they are both amazing… going through my regular 3-day crush.


What is your favourite colour?

Red or Fuschia


Do you dress to suit your look, or wear what you like? Is there a difference?

I dress for how I feel, at that moment. Sexy, cocky, mad, bored, tired… you read it in the way I dress. It changes, everyday. I’m fashionable, but I believe that fashion is just wearing your clothes to suit your personality…but everybody knows that.


Do you hate questionnaires?

No. Duh.


Do you recommend marriage?

But, kind of…


Do you believe in God?

I believe in something… I’m not sure it’s God.


If not, what made you realise God wasn't real?

I can’t prove it one way or another. It’s a question of faith. There is no proof for God. And there is no way to judge or rationalise something that might operate for reasons beyond human comprehension. I can’t wait to be old and find my faith. I think it’s easier to live with faith.


What is the saddest thing you've ever seen?

People giving up on indulging their madness. It’s like mass suicide, everywhere.


What is the funniest?

Gosh.. I don’t know. Perhaps my marriage. I practically damned pissed my pants trying not to laugh.


Have you ever been to Ireland? Do you ever plan to come?

I haven’t been to Ireland yet but I’ve always wanted to visit the Emerald Isle. I once toyed with the idea of living there because it’s tax free for artists.


What makes you mad?

I’m grumpy. Everything makes me mad. Perhaps inefficiency, distrust, and conservatism the most… yes, definitely conservatism. People who don’t do things or who make decisions because of their fear of the unknown piss me off.


What scares you about life?

How fast time flies.


Are you a romantic?

Of course.


Would you kill for love?

No. (touch wood… this would be a nightmare)


How many children do you hope to have? Do you want children in your future?

I want 3 children, all boys.


What is the 12th digit of Pi?

Piss off.


What do you regret in life, so far?

Being the lazy bastard that I am and missing out on opportunities because I was too retarded to fill out a form.


Have you ever been arrested?

Yes.


If you could be one person for one day, who would you choose and why?

Ramanujan. He’s dead, but if I could one day dream in higher math, my life would be fulfilled.


What time is it now?

4:17pm


Have you ever said something mean to someone and then regretted it?

Yes


Who do you hate, that you're friendly with?

Nobody. I don’t put myself in those kinds of positions.


What are you plans for the future, beyond moving back home?

I’m going back to the US and Canada for 3 months to unwind and prepare my next film. Then I’m coming back in September to rock hard with the Parisians, and prepare for my next exposition. Long term future… I want a book deal and 21 million dollars… and all my sanity and health to profit from it.