How to stop your mother-in-law from bugging you about having babies.

1. Make her watch Rosemary’s Baby with you while eating lunch.
2. Tell her fat people look permanently pregnant.
3. Show her photoshopped pictures mixing you and your husband’s faces (That was our Halloween trick - THE HORROR!)
4. Pretend to have Turette's.

Actually, it's useless to pretend to have Turette's when all your swearwords are in english and the inlaws know only one word in english - "OK".

I then dared the husband to ask his mother for more tongue.
-Mom, can I have more tongue?
-Why yes, my dear son. You can have all the tongue you want.

And out it came from a can.