just like Bruce Banner

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

I have had a hard time posting since Saturday. Not for any reason, mind you, but just suffering the after-shocks of what was surely one of the most infamous nights in all my 30 years... if only I could just remember it.

Was there GHB in the water? Did I somehow manage to ingest some conscience altering chemicals? I know that I was untouched, in any criminal sense, but this has left me with a strange buzzing since random images are starting to flicker back, and while none of them seem embarassing, everything is coloured by the fact that they seem filtered through slitted eyes.

Yesterday, overcome with dread and curiosity, I phoned a witness, the witness, Voin, who was there the whole time. We met up for dinner. He just cooed and looked at awe at me. He said "you were amazing! All the most beautiful boys at the party followed you around. We wanted to leave because you were hogging all the attention." He said it was like a superpower... like a superhero. Of course I asked, "did I look really really drunk?" "No, you looked actually kind of normal and sober."

This is so fucked. I can't remember anything about a pack of beautiful boys. I remember odd faces now and then, and while they were kinda cute, I don't remember them being spectacularly yummy. And you'd think you'd remember things like a pack of beautiful boys following you around.

So... this is my conclusion... and let me lay this stone cold bare. I got drunk. I got drugged, which triggered a major internal transformation. I turned into my superhero alter-ego, Princess Flirt. I pranced merrily through the night, incurring some moppy haired fashion boys on the way. I went home, where I finished my transformation back to normal person, in my sleep, and was left weakened and sapped by the whole experience.

How do I know this is possible? It's because I think I do have an ability to control and overcharge my pheromones. When Bruce Banner changed back and forth into the Hulk, he had no memory of his alter-ego. The fact that I looked sober attests to this as well. This is the only rational explanation I can come up with. Yes, my friends, this is a comic evasion for a very disturbing lacune.