Gremlin Hammers!!!

A short excerpt from last night's 5 hour chat. Why do you think I rave about this Outlaw guy...

sam_lies: Gremlin Hammers could be this little German roadie guy, with a mean temper when he drinks too much schnapps
sultanoutlaw: Oh....I'll investigate yer lucky man...then.
sultanoutlaw: the howls of recalcitrant mariners....
sultanoutlaw: and Lars Ulrich..all coked nose...jokes with his mates.."Oh no..he's going snap..."
sam_lies: And then one of them puts out his arm for good ole gremlin to bit on
sam_lies: "ow, Gremlin, dat really hurts!"
sultanoutlaw: and the thing about this German...is he walks around in the nude..backstage..but he's got a micro-penis...
sam_lies: which he more than makes for by jumping up and down vigorously
sam_lies: it just becomes this fuzzy blur
sam_lies: and Gremlin buys Lars a birthday cake one day, for his birthday...
sam_lies: but just as Lars puts out his hand to accept the cake
sultanoutlaw: and this delights the Metallica Goons....this small penis german and his schnaps rage...
sultanoutlaw: and his pogo compensation Watusi.....
sam_lies: Gremlin eats the cake really fast... squashes it into his face, then bites his own arm
sam_lies: Lars faints in horror. When he wakes up, he finds out that he now has the mini watusi
sultanoutlaw: I chortled at this....in a civilized manner....as I'm prone to do.
sam_lies: A little wee child, the orphan on tour watches all of this, and thus he spawns Gremlin Hammers, when he grows up
sam_lies: a Salsa Epic for Metallica
sultanoutlaw: The Gremlin has switcherooed their members...! he now has a Rockstar Penis...
sultanoutlaw: whereas poor Lars....a Gremlin Hammer Penis....
sam_lies: hahahahahaha
sam_lies: A Gremlin hammer Penis!!!
sam_lies: soooo funny
sultanoutlaw: Metallica will then write a gritty concept album about this whole saga...their Lohengrim..(spelling?)
sam_lies: yah?
sultanoutlaw: Bob Seger will cameo on a couple of songs.