Now that's a 21st century religion

Thursday, October 14, 2004

I'm not religious. Somebody once said I was spiritual and I thought that was nice. Religion is like a handy wrench you conk your head with to forget the fact you have a brain and can decide things for yourself. But, there's some very religious people who are very nice and they seem pretty honest about it. Like my uncle and aunt, who like to smile a lot and seem very very happy and pleasant together, though they're always talking about Jesus the way I'm always talking about what's wrong with my hair.

So there. I'm walking down the street, minding my own business, when some dude with a very smiley face and great sweatshirt pokes a piece of paper in my direction. His sweatshirt is all greyish white from too many bad mixed washes, and he has a really daft grin, not to mention he's over 35 and trawling the streets. Still the sweatshirt is fabulous. It reads JEWS FOR JESUS, real witchy stuff. So I figured, what the luck, I'll listen to his spiel and find out what's going on.

Aside: obviously being temporarily on vacation in a big city means I'm suddenly listening to all the weirdos in the city, and giving them some free change and time.

So he asks me if I'm religious? If I've ever thought about Jesus, and if I ever heard about Jews for Jesus. "yah, NO." Then something comes out of his mouth that I can't understand, it's full of words like "believe" and "compassion" and "something else." Good, heard it many times before, BYE.

Walk home, and start unloading packages. Yummy, cheese, potatoes, orange juice, chocolate, my new toothbrush, and oops, a little blue pamphlet. G'damn Jew for Jesus is sneaking pieces of paper into my carrier bags for fuck's sakes. I mean, I know they didn't take anything but it's still creepy. And then I read the bloody pamphlet, while stuffing my face full of bread and nutella.

That was the damn funniest piece of paper I darned read in a long time!!! I pissed my pants laughing. There's a line in it like this: "if you were born in a bakery, does that make you a piece of toast?"
and at the end, there's a link to the website (french) that contains the animation sequence of my really funny animation for selling religion...and they even say it's funny!

There's also an english website with a FLASH when does the Pope ever have time to dish out some FLASH for us...dude's gotta get into the 21st century. There's a line in that animation that goes like this: "Government by lunatics is yourallcracy." That's so rich.

So, hats off to those JEWS FOR JESUS GUYS...They're nutters, but funny nutters.