The facts of life

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

So, another reference to the dreaded Star Academy. This time, it’s John’s turn to get a slap in the face. John is one of the those guys you see in arts highschools, holding on belligerently to his flowing pyramid style hair, popularized in the eighties. He probably took tap dance lessons, along with the whole ring of vocal and acting coaches. He’s the type of guy that eventually ends up being a chorus singer in a musical called “Gladiator,” or a rather mediocre singer of a new rock band that nobody knows. In other words, the boy can sing in key, he can dance, but he has nothing we can properly respect as taste.

And taste, while completely arbitrary, is important.

So, there you have it, since he’s been on Star Academy, John has been spectacularly visible as the “worker,” singing, dancing, wiggling his way all over the place. But he hasn’t managed to seduce any of the girls, NOR any of the boys. I mean, he seems to be a nice guy that doesn’t get into trouble, and if you want to be a star, you gotta get into trouble!!! Unfortunately, while this fly under the radar technique can work for some candidates, looks like John’s got himself a heat seeking missile on him, the BOSS!

That’s right, the BOSS, a certain Gerard Louvin, is largely responsible for nominating the three candidates that risk to be eliminated each week. It’s no secret that while he has his little round table discussions with the other professors, to ask them who they nominate, he’s the one who pulls the chair out of their bottoms at the end…those little pow wows are used to enforce his opinion and bully all dissidents into line. A man so vile and evil (ooohhh, that was nice!) that he wears a periwinkle blue blazer, everyday.

But he’s also someone who’s worked in show business all his life, and if he has the power of running Star Academy, it came from years of enforcing, bullying and generally knowing the name of the game.

So, John, after his little examination, where he went topless, painted a black stripe on his face and sang “eye of the tiger” in Nickleback style, heralded by nothing but praise, finds himself face to face with Gerard Louvin the day after his nomination, looking for an explanation.

-I work really hard, I thought the performance was good, everybody gave me compliments…what gives? I don’t get it.
-It’s simple. You may be good, but you’re not good enough.

(intercut – John speaking into camera confessional)
I give my best, I give my all, everyday. When I left, I was really happy with my performance. I thought I did well.

(back to Louvin’s office)
-no but really, show me the tape. I want an explanation.
-It’s simple, when there was 16, you were 10. Now there’s 12, and we have to nominate you.
-but I’m good, I’m really good.

(intercut – John confessional)
I always thought that if you could be happy with what you did, that was the most important thing. I have high standards. I work really hard so I can be happy with my performance.

(back to Louvin’s office)
-what do you mean? Do you mean I’m not good enough.
-no, you’re not good enough. You have to work harder. But you’re good, you know that.
-but I still don’t understand…help me understand.
-there are others. It’s not important that you’re good. You’re just not better than the others. That’s what’s important.

So, John, who after years of believing that believing in himself and doing his best was all that he could ask of himself, and the most important thing in his life, finally finds out the real facts of life.

Trying your best is ok, but not really important at the end. The most important thing in life is to be better than the others.

“Conan, what is best in life?”

-and he's a barbarian!