ohoy olympia!!!

hey...it's olympic time, and since we only get it once every two years, it's only normal to feel the fever. the olympic fever. besides all the normal sports that we associate with the five ring brouhaha, like gymnastics, swimming and athletics, I'd like to take some time to express my admiration for several obscure sports, of which I only get to see once every four years.

first of all, fencing. the french national mens team scored an exciting and heroic victory against the over-dramatic Italians. In the semi-finals, against the american team, one of the fencers had his hand pierced...even with this, they won...even with this, he managed to score the winning touch in the finals, over a guy named Tarantino. wunderbar!!! the french sports minister, who is an old fencing champion, cried like a baby. However, have to say Montano, the italian sabre sensation, is really AWESOME. Love him.

secondly, archery. wow, who can overrate the passion and tension of the men's final, which pitted an italian dude of 21 against a japanese guy of 41. the japanese guy strutted like an ageing Jagger while the Italian guy looked like an accountant going fishing. The italian guy, under immense pressure, won. Long live the nerds.

finally, the men's road race in cycling. ( yeah yeah...big cycling fan...so I watch it several times a year) Really exciting...Ullrich never amounted to anything... and my favourite, Bettini, conquered the final climb in gorgeous fashion, to easily win the gold. He's got a really funny face that looks even goofier when it's screwed up crying. Allez BETTINI!!!!! I really like it when italians win because what ensues is a frenzy of man-kissing and tears. Lovely darling.

finally, in the cycling time trials, Tyler Hamilton won the gold. For all those not acquainted, Hamilton was the guy who broke his collarbone in the Tour de France, 2003, in the first couple of stages, but still managed to win a mountain stage and finish fourth. no guts, no glory. This year, after the death of his best friend, the golden retriever tugboat, hamilton gave up after suffering a rather superficial but incapacitating injury to his back. Hamilton has always been my emotional favourite. A man with a lot of class and a lot of drive...who understands the value of winning, but not at the cost of his team, or his scruples (unlike his Texan compatriot). I cheered for him last year at the Champs Elysees. Congratulations on gold TYLER!!!

yay, sports.

oh, and Michael Phelps has the personality of freezer-burnt pizza dough. Thank goodness Ian Thorpe swings his hips like a fairy...otherwise why else could I think his giant feet are sexy.