confusion, boredom, death and creativity

monkey crap
having weird dreams, and staying up too late
finally noticed weird old friendster trend of pretending to be celebrities
asked Lars von Trier and Bruce LaBruce to be my friends
both accepted...I think it's the real Bruce because sometimes he posts when he's having a screening, in new york or some other place I'm not going to anytime soon.
wonder if I can corner the fuzzy market on friendster...noticed pet picture trend so things can't be too far...

had a call from my friend TP the other day who was having a May 24 bbq but was making it BYOF as well as BYOB...weird for a long weekend...almost everybody brings something anyways, but seems weird nonetheless to specify bringing food for something for the long weeked...pondered nature of invitation and parties, and whether the only reason why I've thrown parties was to try out some ridiculous culinary scheme (grilled pork poppers stuffed with spicy mango and emmenthal)...and accept grudging praise...why, didn't you hear the other day that Laetitia served her steamed corn with a squeeze of kaffir lime and hungarian paprika!!! incredible.
anyways, was pretty sure that she called to tell me about new bf and show his pic on friendster...very exciting, to meet someone who's "unabashedly bourgeois." The youth these days are born corrupt. And will every single sensitive arty boy/girl in their early twentysomethings stop trying to be so cool already...I mean, I'm bloody fed up with people rollcalling Deleuze and Clinic within minutes of each other...oops, shut up me!!!

almost finished film....the fucking drupeau brothers. what a mess...bordelique. Maybe my last film...feel my life consists of avoiding sequels. problem is...how to have at least one one-hit wonder. funny thing is that the acting is really good, the music is wonderful, just that it's so messy and the writing has all my bad jokes thrown into one big messy scenario....or maybe it's just like every bored young something making a film...at least I didn't make a stupid diary film...hello...here's my boring life with semi-cool friends and all my poetic momen.....zzzzzzzzz
humph...at least I was getting laid regularly before I decided to make this silly film so nobody can accuse me of making pseudo-art for getting in cute artboys's pants.

experimented with grilled onion liver and turkey stirfry today, doused with pinot noir (from alsace!!!), white pepper and groseille jelly...yummy, served with cool red leaf lettuce (in simple olive oil lemon dressing) and sided with baked potato balls...I made this in under 30 minutes, rushing to finish cooking before I could have my early-summer feast watching the Champions League final Monaco vs. Porto...at the end of the game, Giuly looked like an underfed dog, glancing through the window of a butcher shop...so sad...sadder still was that your's truly knocked herself out with two glasses of pinot noir and salad meal...falling asleep for 10 minutes after halftime...well, they were really having a hard time and I haven't slept much. sorry...feel like my energy lapse might have jinxed match...but of course it's ridiculous...they were playing in germany.

I cried yesterday listened to Coal Miner's Daughter by Loretta Lynn. what's going on?