picked up a virus, which I am now infected with. It's the ole' 37 questions trick. I couldn't resist, because, let's face it, if I created a blog it was just so I could talk more about me. Here you go, another slice of nardac-pie:
What is the geekiest part of your music collection?
All my old time Radio Mystery Theatre recordings. Love them…
What is your secret guaranteed weeping movie?
OLD YELLER, though most animal movies make me leak.
If you could have plastic surgery what would you have done?
Bigger Boobs, but I don’t want them sitting all separated and rock hard when the silicon freezes. I’m waiting till they perfect the procedure… then gagongas!
Do you have a completely irrational fear?
I’m terrified of chewing gum and toothpaste foam.
What is the little physical habit that gives away your insecure moments?
Do you know anyone famous?
Yeah, many people. Do they know me? No. Ok Ok… I used to be friends with Peaches, when we both lived in Toronto. I danced in junior high with the guy who’s now the No.1 Poker Player in the World. My ex-boyfriend was in a nationally famous band. I am friendsters with Bruce la Bruce. I regularly tell dirty jokes to international contemporary artists.
Who would play you in a movie?
No blond bitches could tackle my mojo! So who does that leave? Oh yeah, Rhea Perlman, or maybe Mischa Barton, actually, cut them in half and sew them down the middle, and that’s me!
What do you carry with you all the time?
Cellphone, wallet, lip balm, keys, notebook, pen, handkerchief (leaky snozzle)
What do you miss most about being a kid?
My old wallpaper, with its creepy eyes. Being happy being alone.
What colour is your bedroom?
What was the last song you were listening to?
Tangled up in Blue – Bob Dylan
Have you ever been in a play?
Multiple times in childhood. Not since, which sucks, because I know I’d be excellent, as Focaccia or Monstrio. I played Goldilocks and the Three Bears when I was 5. I did play in a film last year though…
Have you ever been in love?
Don’t ask….(weeping in corner)
Do you like yourself and believe in yourself?
Sometimes, but not all the time…actually not often, but that depends…I try not to think about it too much. Not so happy, but couldn’t imagine being anyone else, or thinking in or about anyone else’s shoes, because I like other people, usually, even less… but I make exceptions. Next question?
Do transient, homeless, or starving people sometimes annoy you?
What? I don’t understand this question at all.
What is your ideal marriage location?
On an iceberg. All the angles and whiteness, so aesthetically pleasing. Plus, hopefully unwanted guests could slide off.
What musical instrument do you wish you could play?
I always wished I could sing, just like Aretha. Real instrument? Flute/Cello, for all those Monteverdi nights.
Sea Island Cotton.
What’s the one language you want to learn?
Latin, so I could be a smartass in a dead language.
How do you eat an apple?
With my teeth.
What do you order at a bar?
Have you ever pierced your body parts?
My ears, but now that’s all closed up.
Do you have any tattoos?
3 – one behind each ear, a “?” and a “YES.” Plus the one on my arm.
Do you drive a stick?
No.. Do you drive a turtle…insane…with a stick? Grrrr….
Favourtie trait of the opposite sex?
Humour… and all round geniusness… I’m only attracted to freakish geniuses, the ones who everyone mistakes as yetis.
What kind of watch do you wear?
I haven’t worn a watch in over 15 years.
Most frivolous purchase?
The better question would be how many frivolous purchases have you ever made? In which case I would have respond in the thousands. I don’t think I need all the stuff I have…except my blue jeans, hands, and computer(so sad!)… so what’s with that mountain of shoes, clothes, books, records, films, art equipment, tragic assortment of condiments, dead plants?
What are you best at cooking?
Weird one of a kind dishes that can never be duplicated in the same universe. I’m a product of too many clashing cultures. Sometimes the dumplings turn out to be stuffed with cranberries and tuna, other times it’s spaghetti with anchovies and passion fruit!! I’m working on a series of dishes right now dedicated to famous battles. I’ve got Pearl Harbour and Vietnam nailed… Now it’s onto the Battle of Hastings and Operation Dessert Storm.
Would you ever go out dressed like the opposite sex?
Yes. And I would also go out dressed as the opposite species, one writhing sea anemone coming up.
What’s one car you will never buy?
A Porsche, because girlfriend got no spare cash, no bling bling.
What kind of books do you like to read?
Almost everything… Actually, no I lie. Usually when I go to a bookshop, I spend hours and hours reading the first 2-3 pages of many different books. I don’t know how many I put down, and I’m not sure why I keep the ones that I do, but I know that my taste is great! I oscillate between writers who are unbelievably baroque in their style to minimal stylists. I read mainly fiction and poetry (favouring Coetzee Kafka Dylan Thomas and Rachel Carson), aesthetic philosophy, crazy new philosophers like Agamben, artist biographies, biographies on mathematicians, great mythical romantic sports stories like Donald Crowhurst and Ourasi, pulpy non-fiction such as the making of the Trans-Canada Highway, and cookbooks. I love books… I’ll read anything… but I choose. Oh, and I think the Painfeeler will write the best book ever, if he ever gets past the first 50 pages. I’m itching to get my hands on that one…itching y’hear! Scratch!
If you won the lottery what would you do?
Hire a hitman to shoot holes through my door to form the image of Humphrey Bogart.
Do you cry in front of your friends?
I don’t have any control over that.
What’s one thing you like to do alone?
Not telling… oh, maybe when I do the ole’ bear in a cave trick, I don’t wash, or eat, or do anything for a good 48 hours, except sit in bed, watching movies, reading books, writing, smelling, sleeping, dreaming about mating with fabulous interstellar planetary warlords.
Are you a giver or a taker?
Both. But everyone else seems to think I take, but they don’t realize how much I give them, in thoughts and ideas.
When’s the last time you cried?
Last night watching OUI CHEF! My god, Cyril Lignac made me blubber like a blubberkins.
How many drinks before you’re tipsy?